Mix Up....Mash Up.....FML

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me....Fighting to make the mirror happy....I count on the make-up to cover it all....Crying myself to sleep because I can not keep their attention....I thought I could be strong....But its killing me....Does someone hear my cry....Im dying for new life....I want to be beautiful....Make you stand in awe....I want to hear you say....Who I am is quite enough....I shouldnt love you but I want to....I just cant turn away....And I dont know how to be fine when Im not....Cause I dont know how to make a feeling stop....Im sick of this life....I just want to scream....And I cant stand the pain....And I cant make it go away....Id do anything just to hold you in my arms....Id do anything just to fall asleep with you....I cant pretend I dont care....When you dont think about me....Im trying to forget that Im addicted to you....But I want it and I need it....How long will I be waiting?....I dont know why Im still waiting....Cant make you mine....I wish I could scream out loud....That I love you....Drowning in my lonliness....How long must I hold my breath?....So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea....If I could say what I want to say....Id say I want to blow you away....Be with you every night....If I could say what I want to see....I want to see you go down on one knee....Marry me today....I guess Im wishing my life away....With these things I'll never say....

~Luci

Just an update.......kind of

Just a warning this post may be full of mistakes because I am using any extremely small keypad that just also hPpens to be on a touch screen. I'm sitting at Starbucks right now and I realized I haven't posted in awhile so while I am sitting here enjoying my coffee and waiting for the bus I thought I would update y'all on whats been going on in my life. Not much really. LOL Really. I'm serious. Just working. Well actuly I did quit kmart finally. Really!!!!! I know it's hard to believe but I did. This was my first weekend off and it was good for the most part. I had a migraine so that kind of putba damper on the weekend. Oh well. Well this post is going nowhere fast so I better stop it. I will post again later tonight after work. Later gators!!!!!

~Luci

I have a secret!

And I have to share it with somebody. Unlucky for you that you chose to read this post and now you get to learn it. LOL

I have a crush. On a guy. Whose name I dont know. But I know him. And he knows me. But he doesnt know my name. And he looks like my old boss. Whom I cant wait for Tuesdays and Thursdays so I get to see him. Whom I wont see much longer. So I think maybe I should make a move. LOL

So how does all of that make any sense? He is the bus driver on one of the routes I take. But since I just got more hours, now taking me to 40/wk, I will soon have enough for my long-awaited car. So, no more bus route. So no more bus driver. I dont know. This is all a little weird. LOL. He looks like my old boss. And if you read the old blog before its untimely demise you know to whom I am referring. And you know thats not the best thing. But, I dont know. There is something about this guy. Everytime I get off at the apartment building to go to my one clients place he always says something like 'Have a great night.' or 'Enjoy your weekend.' And I know that it may sound like he's just being nice, and thats what I thought too, but he doesnt say that to anyone unless they say something like that to him first. But every time, he says it to me without me saying anything to him. And I even catch him looking at me in the mirror. Ok maybe that one is my imagination. Probably is, I dont know.

 And now I find myself looking forward to those bus rides. I find myself actually taking extra time to make myself look good before I leave to catch the bus. I even find myself cursing the wind when it blows my hair to crap while Im at the bus stop. UGH. I need help! So do you guys think I should say something more to him? I mean its complicated. I cant just slip him my number with Call me written on it. There are LOTS of people on the bus. I dont know. I dont know anything! HELP!!!!

~Luci

Current mood: Happy, Scared, Weird
Currently reading: Naughty Neighbor ~ Janet Evanovich

Tonights quote: The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present. ~ Unknown
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Its just a game

Thats right its just a game. And on Monday morning the sun is still going to rise. Thats what a local anchorman said of the Super Bowl and whether or not the Steelers win. I pray they lose. I HATE the steelers and their ridiculous fans. They are one of two teams in the history of the NFL that cheat, knowingly, and get away with it. But thats not what I came here to say.

Scott Bremner has this weekly segment on the 6 oclock news called Thoughts From Under The Hat. And even though hes a Steelers fan I have to agree with what he said on Friday. He also talked about how ridiculous the fans of all teams are becoming. After reading this, head on over to the video and hear him actually say it, HERE

Okay, I'm just going to say it, so everyone just try to contain your emotions.
It's just a game.
I know, I know, it sounds a bit blasphemous, coming just two days before the Super Bowl.
But come Monday morning, the sun will still come up (just not around here), the kids will still ignore you and the boss will still wonder why that report wasn't finished five minutes ago.
It may be even more unbelievable that those words are coming from me, a lifelong Steelers fan.
But maybe "fan" is too mild a term.
My father still swears that when they cut the cord at my birth, it bled Black and Gold.
He and I would watch the games together in my youth, my father making odd clucking sounds or would "tsk-tsk-tsk" when the Steelers botched a play.
To this day every time I hear that sound I still look around to see who scored a touchdown.
Those seem like kinder and gentler days then, when people could root for different teams without fear, when the ribbing had limits that didn't include the threat of bodily harm.
Now going to a stadium wearing the visitor's colors is more an open invitation to mayhem and you should consider yourself fortunate if all that happens is getting drenched in beer.
It's gotten to the point that when I go I rarely wear the garb, if for no other reason than I simply have grown weary of the noise.
And no, gentle viewers, Steelers fans aren't worse than Browns fans and Raider fans aren't worse than Dallas fans.
Jerks are universal.
So enjoy the game this weekend and remember it's just a game.
The real world will return soon enough Monday morning.

 I do have to disagree with one statement he said, Steelers fans ARE worse than browns fans, and even Dallas fans. LOL So think about what he said the next time you hurl insults at the opposing teams fans. They are just trying to have a good time just like you, even if they are cheering for cheaters and rapists.

Enjoy the Super Bowl. Go Packers!!!!!!!!

~Luci

Current Mood: Happy, Thoughful, Contemplative
Currently Watching: Weeds Season 1

Tonights quote: God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them.  ~Author Unknown
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It hurts

I have this client whose insurance company will only pay for a licensed nurse to come in and do things for them, not aides. So I took on this client for the company. But right now Im begining to think that was a VERY BAD idea. She is on this kick that if my hands arent in a bucket of cleaning solution than Im not doing anything. Which is bullshit, but whatever. With the weather being ridiculously crappy right now and the cleaning solutions my knuckles are EXTREMELY dry. I mean so dry they are cracked and bleeding. It hurts alot. Ive been using lotion, body cream, body butter. I dont know what else to do. Well, except, maybe drop the client. But I cant do that because I need the hours. UGH.

My sister thinks that I should try the night emoillient in the Satin Hands collection from Mary Kay. It just makes my knuckles burn more. I dont know what to do. Ive racked my brain for anything that may be hidden in the corners of  my brain, somethinaloeg I may have learned in school, but Im coming up blank. I have even tried aloe. Pure, 100%, straight from the plant aloe. And thats not helping. So if anyone out there knows something that will work please, please, please let me know.

~Luci

Great Musing From A Good Friend

I have this friend, I know shocking!, that everytime he opens his mouth Im afraid for the world. He always says such inappropriate things, but at the same time they make you think. Most of the time Im thinking about what the hell he's been smoking, and how can I get some. LOL Like last night I get a text from him, and what does it say? 'Who would win in a fight, Mrs Butterworth or Aunt Jemima?'

Seriously! He always makes me laugh. I was going through all of my texts from him and found this one, 'I want to shank mother nature.' To be followed up by 'The awkward moment in the van when you realize there is no candy' I even have one from him that says 'People say live within your means but if I did that I would be fighting homeless people for their boxes.'

Yes these are the things he sends me. And lets not even get started on what the hell he says. He once told me 'She told me last night that I was getting it tonight!!!!!!' Yeah like he was going to get it from me. LOL.

But my all time favorite from him are 'I have a hypothesis that a rhinocerous is just an obese unicorn, thus proving their existence!,' and 'Does lighting a fat kid on fire count as burning calories?'

He makes me smile!

~Luci

Why dont you go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick

HAHA dont we all wish we could say that shit to people at least once a day?

So even though today was my day to sleep in, I mean really sleep in, not get out of bed til after 11am. Guess who was up before 9? Thats right, This girl. The car had to be serviced and it was going to take more than 4 hours so my sister was going to take the dealerships shuttle to the mall. Since I needed a few things from the mall I decided to tag along. So that meant an early day. UGH. Oh well. It ended up being a good day. I got some new bras and some new undies. Cant wait to show them off. LOL. And then I got new eyeliner, since I have been out of the glitter eyeliner for a few months. Thats how often I make it to the mall. Im not a teeny-bopper and the mall and the people annoy me. But anyway, then we headed to Bath & Body Works. I love that store. I picked up some more hand sanitizer and some great antibacterial handsoaps. I spent way too much money there, as always. Then we met a friend of mine from school for lunch. Ruby Tuesdays with some great people is just what the doctor ordered. Nothing will put you in a great mood more than good food with great friends. Ok, one thing will but we will not go into that here.

Then it was off to Staples. I didnt need anything there but the sister did so we stopped in. I ended getting some things. But nothing greater than my new alarm clock! Now, why would a person so apposed to getting out of bed get an alarm clock? It docks my iPod and charges it. AND now I can turn off my phone!!!!!!!!!!! Especially on Sunday mornings when I get off work at 6 am and the office is already calling me to pick up shifts all day. Now I wont be awaken by the damn phone vibrating. Im super excited. Let them call me, Im not picking up. Eat shit and die!

And, today I finished book 3 in the Bridal Quartet. The series is pretty good. My cousin told me about the books but since weddings depress me I was trying to put it off as long as I could since the books are about 4 friends who run a wedding business, and in the process fall in love and eventually get married. So thats a double whammy for me. But whatever. They are really good. But not the reason I started talking about this. I came across a quote in the book that pretty much summed everything up for me, about me, and my love life, or lack thereof.

'I dont need a ring or license, or a spectacular white dress. Its not marriage so much, or at all really, that matters. Its the promise. Its the knowing someone wants me to be part of his life. Someone loves me, that Im the one for him. Thats not just enough, its everything.'

See, doesnt that just fit me? Well folks I have to be up at my usual time tomorrow to make breakfast. Bacon and eggs and toast. And maybe I will throw some sausage in there because we all know I love my meat.

~Luci

Current Mood: Happy, Refreshed, Giddy (although I dont know why)
Currently listening to: Heartbreaker ~ Pat Benatar

Tonights quote: Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. ~
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